The Portrayal of Gaslighting in "The Loneliest Girl in the Universe"

 

Recently, I read a book named The Loneliest Girl in the Universe by Lauren James– a book that explores both interesting and concerning psychological themes that I had never seen in a book before. It was recommended to me by a friend a long time ago, and they eventually checked it out at the library and let me borrow it. I discovered that I still had it (sorry, Stella), and decided to give it a read just from the interesting and bleak title.

The story follows Romy Silvers, a teenager living on a space ship bound for a planet that supposedly can support human life. Although the journey is estimated to be insanely long at 23 years, the ship was equipped with cryopod equipment and other emergency supplies that would make it bearable.

…All of which no longer work.

Romy convinces herself that she doesn't mind– that since it’s all she’s ever known, she should be used to it. That it was for the sake of humanity as a whole. But still, a sense of longing for what she’s never been able to experience lingers, along with her maddening loneliness resulting from being the only one alive on the ship.

However, that seems to change when she comes into contact with another ship, and with it, another person– who calls himself “J”. Romy was well aware of her desperation for human connection, but who wouldn’t be excited by the possibility of a real bond with someone after spending five years without seeing another human being?

And then, the story that first presented itself as a hopeful and philosophical romance between the two characters about connection and hope, quickly turns into a psychological nightmare not just for the reader, but for Romy.

Just as soon as Romy begins to respond to J’s transmissions, she also begins to receive transmissions from a strange organization claiming they overthrew the United States back on earth and now hold charge over her ship. They first reassure her that she will be their utmost priority, but small requests to preserve energy like turning off the lights an hour earlier than usual devolve into demanding that she only shower for five minutes once every week and permanently deactivating all entertainment she had.

And yet, through it all, J was there to comfort her, like the hero he was. He tells her that he was getting the same transmissions, and that they were in this together. Out of pure coincidence, he is a fan of every single piece of media Romy is, and described himself exactly like what Romy’s cartoon crush looks like. He promises Romy that once their two ships were close enough to board each other, he would never leave her again. Like a true hero.

…You can see where this is going.

This book is genuinely one of the best depictions of gaslighting in real time that I have ever seen. I think what makes it unique from others that I have read is that because the book is in first person, Romy slowly becomes more and more unreliable as a narrator as she feeds into J’s reassurances, having to reach just to tell herself that J could be trusted. And along with attempting to convince herself, she attempts to convince the reader, too. 

Any time Romy tries to push for more information out of J, whether it was about the strange transmissions or himself as a person, he would get uncharacteristically aggressive. And although she noticed it, she didn’t want to risk severing the one source of human interaction she had– and thus, continued to reason with herself about why she must simply be going crazy, and that J only wanted the best for her.

It only clicked when, one day, she decided to look back at J’s old messages he had sent her. And she realized something.

J’s romantic words were exact, plagiarized copies of fanfiction she had written for herself and shared with no one. He talked about things that she had never even mentioned to him before, that were so ridiculously specific that it just simply couldn’t be a coincidence.

And, most importantly,

That the awful government transmissions began the very day J first messaged her.

The Loneliest Girl in the Universe is a wonderful albeit somewhat terrifying book that immersed me in the story like no other has, and is a rollercoaster of emotions from start to finish. I completed the book the very same day I started reading it, because it genuinely– seriously– made me anxious to put down. The story is unique, compelling, and heartbreaking all in one, and I can’t recommend it enough.

-Livy